Trip Down Memory Lane - Stars (Javert)

I used to listen to my brother's Les Miserables CD collection without ever having seen the actual play, always moved by the depth and the soul and the levity of the lyrics, shrouded in timeless, epic romance and tragedy. Although I liked Cosette's and Fantine's songs, the one that always haunted me was Javert's Stars:

JAVERT
There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from grace
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!

Stars
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night

You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as Lucifer fell
You fall in flame!

And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!

Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Safe behind bars
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!


I'm not sure why it resonated with me even from such a young age, but I remember imagining a line of silent, silver stars watching the world - a lonely and distant and omniscient audience. And the concept of "the fall" - even in my favorite book Crime and Punishment, I was always particularly haunted by the small and large falls of humankind and our journey from innocence to sin and to redemption. The fragility of human goodness, the dark power of sin, and the never-ending tight-rope to stay the course. We are never free and we are never really safe from this - every day, every hour, ever minute. And now, more than ever, realizing the significance of how small compromises can amass into huge misdirections.

To fall from grace - in any way, large or small, is deeply humbling.